So today it is Chemo Round #2, Day 4. I wrote this post last round, but it sums up the last 2 days – except this time it was a struggle to hold down a teaspoon of water and the sun is shinning on melting snow. Here ’tis…

Genanne said to me, “There will be good days and there will be bad days.”

Yesterday was a bad day.

Sucker punch in the stomach. Sinking into the Polar Vortex.

IMG_6370The Fatigue – I feel like Dorothy in the poppy field, sinking deep into the soil, barely stirred by the swirling blizzard that lands in piles 3 ft. high at my my door.

Bloating, puffing up – out, veins popping fluid

Filling – meds, nausea, saline, nausea, relax, infusion, chemo, meds, nausea, fluids

Popping. I might burst

Until I do – all over the bathroom, lucky to make it to the tile.

And then the folding in, deflating like a balloon spitting around the room as the air violently erupts from its inside, till it loses form.

And there I am. Collapsed. in a heap on the floor. in the bed.

2 saltines. That’s all I could take for the day.

2 saltines. Not even the anti-nausea meds could calm the swells.

But then I fall into the black hole of sleep.

Recharging for the next day.

One day at a time.

There are good days. And there are bad days.

Yesterday was a bad day.

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