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CHEMO ROUND #1: BAD DAY
So today it is Chemo Round #2, Day 4. I wrote this post last round, but it sums up the last 2 days – except this time it was a struggle to hold down a teaspoon of water and the sun is shinning on melting snow. Here ’tis…
Genanne said to me, “There will be good days and there will be bad days.”
Yesterday was a bad day.
Sucker punch in the stomach. Sinking into the Polar Vortex.
The Fatigue – I feel like Dorothy in the poppy field, sinking deep into the soil, barely stirred by the swirling blizzard that lands in piles 3 ft. high at my my door.
Bloating, puffing up – out, veins popping fluid
Filling – meds, nausea, saline, nausea, relax, infusion, chemo, meds, nausea, fluids
Popping. I might burst
Until I do – all over the bathroom, lucky to make it to the tile.
And then the folding in, deflating like a balloon spitting around the room as the air violently erupts from its inside, till it loses form.
And there I am. Collapsed. in a heap on the floor. in the bed.
2 saltines. That’s all I could take for the day.
2 saltines. Not even the anti-nausea meds could calm the swells.
But then I fall into the black hole of sleep.
Recharging for the next day.
One day at a time.
There are good days. And there are bad days.
Yesterday was a bad day.
Dear Allison,
Oh my goodness. My heart goes out to you. No one should have to go through this, but know that you are surrounded by love and prayers. And may there be more good days sooner than soon.
Peace and Blessings,
Susan
I know i’t isnt for me but thank you for the collateral benefit me of keeping you in my world. Thank you for loving enough to write.
I Love you Allison.
ONWARD SWEET SOLDIER…
This is the battleground and everyday you are knocked down is a prelude to when you rise up!!! As you spew, know that chemo drugs ARE doing the hard work of your survival.
Our hearts are with you, FORWARD! YOU ARE LOVED AND NEEDED by so many who are comrades in arms!!!
Suzan and Jim
I truly hope you feel the love that we are all sending your way.
xoxo
so sorry that this is happening. I have been with my sister on some of her bad days , it takes a slot of courage to do what you’re doing. xo
wow, most upsetting, you said it like i never heard it said before. what people go thru in all ways, amazes me, but this — ugh. mary pat